Shaving Cream


I have a sad story to tell you

It may hurt your feelings a bit

Last night when I walked into my bathroom

I stepped in a pile of ...

Chorus (repeat after every verse):


Shaving cream, be nice and clean.


Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.

 

I think I'll break off with my girlfriend

Her antics are queer I'll admit


Each time I say, 'Darling, I love you'

She tells me that I'm full of ...

Our baby fell out of the window


You'd think that her head would be split

But good luck was with her that morning

She fell in a barrel of ...

An old lady died in a bathtub

She died from a terrible fit


In order to fulfill her wishes

She was buried in six feet of ...

When I was in France with the army

One day I looked into my kit


I thought I would find me a sandwich

But the darn thing was loaded with ...

And now, folks, my story is ended

I think it is time I should quit


If any of you feel offended


Stick your head in a barrel of ...

 

Many more verses...


Our leader says Clean is a virtue,


On his face you will see not one zit.


Instead of washing with soap and hot water,

He scrubs with a handful of ...

Last Saturday I went out hiking,


I like to keep physically fit,


But when I stopped for a rest break,

My boots were all covered with ...

Let's have a cheer for the camp staff,

They're definitely our favorite!

But, every night at the campfire

They lead us and sing just like ...

I thought I would make me some tie-dyes

And bought lots of colors for it.


But after I dyed all my T-shirts


They all were the color of ...

Our leader made us all breakfast


I asked him what food was in it.


He laughed as he gave me a spoonful

And said it was rice, beans, and ...

Our 4th day of hiking at Philmont


We were dehydrated a bit


We'd heard that Ponil had cold root beer

But all that they gave us was...

We'd all just descended Mt. Baldy

Our stomachs a bottomless pit

We just wanted Probars and jerky

But Baldy Town made us do ...

While hiking, Joe spotted a black bear

He screamed like a girl cause of it


It left but Joe looked quite embarrassed

Then we noticed his pants filled with...

I asked to come out and play baseball

I'd just bought a new catchers mitt;


I asked you to throw me a fastball


but you threw me a big lump of ...

Once while I was at the ball game,

The batter smashed out a hit.


But while he was running for second,

He slipped in a big pile of ...

Last night we all had a big snowstorm,

And it's time to shovel, isn't it?


The only good thing about snow is,

It's better than shoveling ...